


All the Small Things

by haku23



Category: The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Crack, Established Relationship, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-02-06
Updated: 2012-02-06
Packaged: 2017-10-30 17:00:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,193
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/334013
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/haku23/pseuds/haku23
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve gets zapped by a weird, alien ray and is changed back to regular old pre-serum Steve Rogers. Tony reacts differently than Steve would've liked.</p>
            </blockquote>





	All the Small Things

Steve's small. It's the first thing he notices. Like really small. The second thing he notices is that he's _still_ taller than Tony. Not more muscular, not with those twig arms, but actually taller. The nerve of him. 

 

“Tony, hi. There was...”

 

“You're adorable, let me just get that out of the way now, but yeah. There was a ray or something, Clint filled me in,” he blurts out before Steve can say anything else. His clothes are too wide and long on him and Tony suppresses an 'awww' because he thinks that Steve probably can still do that look he does when Tony's done something he doesn't like.

 

“Tony...” okay so the look is also adorable, “I can't be Captain America like this.”

 

“Sure you can, you'll just be really small. I mean I'm sure it doesn't inspire confidence to see Captain America shrunk down to pocket size but hey-”

 

He's mad, Tony can tell he is but it's too cute so he can't feel afraid. “I'm going to talk to Hank. Or Bruce.”

 

“Okay, okay, I'm sorry. Steve wait come on, we'll find a way to turn you back. But uh...first can I give you a hug?”

 

The look would be scathing on regular Steve. It's not so much on little Steve. He's striding down the hall before Tony can get another word in edgewise.

 

“Jarvis, on a scale of one to a million Ultrons how badly did I mess that up?”

 

“Only 999,999 Ultrons, sir.”

 

“I'm reprogramming you,” Tony says without any intention of going through with the threat-reprogramming JARVIS would be like trying(because he would never succeed) to do the same to Pepper. Could he reprogram people? No, probably not. Then again his attempts had consisted of sending Pepper texts saying 'Pepper' over and over until she got too annoyed with him and let him do what he wanted.

 

Anyway, he decides to leave Steve alone until such a time that he can handle looking directly at him without being reduced to a 13 year old girl who's just discovered boys. Or at least that's his intention. And then they have to assemble and they're _all_ assembling for some reason he'd thought he'd made it abundantly clear they could fight together _or_ alone. Thor is there and Clint and hell, even Hank is running out of his lab which is almost like a miracle because if there's anyone more dedicated to his work than Tony it's Hank. The gist is, everyone's waiting to go.

 

Even Steve. He looks like his shield will snap his arm in two it's painfully adorable. And Steve's not going but still, while he's here, “aww. I mean awwwssemble.”

 

“You are performing admirably, sir. I think that the Hulk did not catch your slip,” JARVIS' voice is in his ear reminding him of how he really should be keeping at least 50 feet away from this new, cute and small Steve.

 

“Shut up JARVIS.”

 

“May I remind you that I possess Captain Rogers' medical records?”

 

“Alright, show me.”

 

He's expecting to see 'perfect example of a human being' but when have his expectations ever matched reality? Other than that Steve's dick is huge and he'd totally called that one. No, he sees a list, an extensive list of Steve's ailments. It would be easier to say what _wasn't_ wrong with him than what is when he's like this.

 

Everyone is either flying off or clinging to someone who is when he steps up to Steve, “New plan, Steve you're staying behind.”

 

“I'm not staying behind, Tony. I can still help.”

 

“Sure you can big...guy...from here. It'll be fun or something.”

 

“I'm not an invalid, Tony,” he's doing that thing again where he tries to look intimidating but he isn't.

 

“Steve,” he forces himself to open the faceplate despite how it'll expose the blatantly 'awww' expression, “just...We'll be right back, okay? JARVIS, pull up _Cupcake Avalanche_ for Steve on the big screen.”

 

In between punching a giant squirrel and getting thrown into a building he realizes he's going to have to do some major ass kissing. As much as he'd wanted to continue chatting with Steve about how he couldn't actually let someone that frail fight giant mutated animals he'd really had to go before Clint started making baseless accusations in his ear. And as many times as he had said they'd be right back it's a good 2 hours before the Avengers get back to the mansion.

 

“You're in trouble.”

 

“Shut up, Hawkeye.”

 

“Is he really that bad? He's a little small but who says good things don't come in small packages?” Jan flits around sounding indignant.

 

“Should I list off the reasons why letting him fight with no powers is a bad idea? Because I can do it. JARVIS show them the list.”

 

“Holy crap, he's like a ticking time bomb of weak,” Hawkeye comments.

 

“...It's kind of...” Jan looks guilty, “adorable.”

 

“Someone else thinks it. Okay, Avengers, plan?”

 

“Steven is still a commendable warrior, Tony Stark, to keep him from battle is inadvisable.”

 

“Anyone other than an invincible Norse God have thoughts? Really, I'll take anything here,” he looks around at the faces of his teammates and sighs. No one's got any ideas that aren't 'you talk to him' clearly. Traitors. What happened to fighting together always?

 

Steve is sitting in Hank's lab, which Tony knows because he's got cameras everywhere for the express purpose of being kind of a voyeur, when Tony's finished begging his teammates for advice so he plods over there. There's a funeral march playing in his head-he's going to die. Possibly of how cute Steve is or the more probable reason, a shield to the head.

 

“Steve I-”

 

“What do you want, Tony?”

 

“Okay, I fucked up,” he runs his fingers through his hair. Steve isn't exactly looking at him and his hands are curled in fists and resting on his thighs.

 

“No argument here.”

 

He has no business being so cute. “So...have fun playing your game?”

 

“Sure, Tony.”

 

He recognizes the tone as the 'you've fucked up royally' one that's reserved for when...well, what it says on the tin. “I'm not allowed in bed with you tonight, am I?”

 

Steve takes a deep breath like he's going to say something but his silence is worse.

 

“Okay, uh...I'll just be in my lab if you want me.”

 

Good. That had gone well.

 

“May I commend you on your conversation skills, sir?”

 

“No, you can't. JARVIS...”

 

“Call Ms. Potts? I already have, sir.”

 

Pepper is used to picking up his messes so she'll be able to help him with this one he thinks. Either that or call him an idiot which would also be acceptable considering Steve's unwillingness to talk to him. Sometimes he thinks he's a masochist but seriously, it feels better if someone tells him he's stupid rather than letting him tell himself. He's always got harsher words for himself than anyone else does.

 

He hears Pepper before he sees her-the heels, always with the heels-but it's not long before she puts in her code to the lab. She's holding The Clipboard.

 

“Is that a list of the top ten presents I should buy Steve so he stops being angry?” he hopes it is except that it probably isn't because Pepper is Pepper and Pepper likes it when he does work that doesn't include being in his lab getting smelly and tired. She's no fun.

 

“No, it's a list of the top ten things you've been neglecting to do since ...months ago?”

 

“Yeah, I'll get to it.”

 

“Tony.”

 

“Pepper.”

 

“JARVIS filled me in about Cap. Any idea when he'll be back in action or should I schedule a vacation for you to mope?” she looks from her list to him with a stern expression he knows is more for appearances than anything.

 

“No. And yes.”

 

She sighs in what he assumes is exasperation-he remembers when she used to for other reasons but that's over and should be put in a hidden folder somewhere in his memory where he can access it when he feels like feeling sorry for himself. “You could try saying sorry.”

 

“I did and he did that thing where he gives me one word answers,” he throws a line of code in the recycle bin and musters his most pitiful face, “Pepperrrrr help meeeeee.”

 

“You're such a child.”

 

“You love it.”

 

“He likes baseball, doesn't he? Take him to a game.”

 

“Or I could buy him the Dodgers.”

 

“No Tony.”

 

“Have you seen him? You should see him,” he pulls up an image of Steve. Itty bitty Steve. God, did he really just call him that?

 

Her heart is melting, he can tell. She's always thought Steve was cute but hell, so has he and this is at least 100 times cuter than normal. He could write a sonnet or something about him.

 

“He's...well...”

 

“I know. And now we'll look at the extensive list of...” he pulls up The List.

 

He hears her gasp, “Tony you can't let him out of the house, he'll die.”

 

“I know! God he's holding a newspaper Steve no are you sure you can hold and entire newspaper?!” he expects his arms to fall off from the weight as ridiculous as it is to think.

 

“I think that's a bit-NO STEVE!”

 

“Hank no, he can't run on a treadmill what are you thinking?! JARVIS stop him!”

 

“May I make a suggestion, sir?” the AI comes over the speakers.

 

“Can you first stop Hank from killing Steve first?”

 

“Scans suggest Captain Rogers is perfectly fine.”

 

He sighs, “I'd say the scans are wrong but I designed everything myself.”

 

“Does the rest of the team know?” Pepper breaks into his thoughts about what Steve shouldn't be doing now that he has the constitution of a piece of tissue paper.

 

“It's kind of hard to miss, Pep.”

 

She purses her lips like she knows he's right(which she hates admitting), “well you'll just have to spend your 'vacation' finding a way to turn him back.”

 

~~**~~

 

A few days later and Steve still isn't back to normal and while he's talking to Tony again he's doing that sad pouting. The one that he doesn't like admit to doing but does anyway. Like everything else he does it's cute. Tony manages to keep his (embarrassing)squeals to himself while they're in the same room as each other but then goes and emails Pepper. They're watching a movie(Steve is, Tony's working on his tablet) when he gets up the courage to let him out of the house. There's still a lingering voice that says 'he'll get hit in the head with a baseball and die' but he can mostly shut it up.

 

“So, it's been quiet lately, you want to go to a ballgame?”

 

“I guess.” It's not exactly the answer he's looking for but Steve's arm is around his shoulders so he takes that as a good sign. Even if he is still taller and Tony is still annoyed at that.

 

“It'll be fun?”

 

“Thanks Tony but maybe I should stay here. People would wonder who the weird guy you were sitting with was.”

 

“Okay, no. I've already got the self-loathing square on the bingo card and it's mine. You can't have it,” he puts his work down on the couch beside him with a frown he hopes conveys his meaning of I love you and I don't like it when you're being an Eeyore impersonator without him having to say it.

 

“Tony...”

 

“ _Steve_. You've been turning into me since the whole alien ray lost powers thing and you'll never hear me say it again but it's not healthy-JARVIS I can hear your snark building up-come see the game with me. Don't make me beg, even though I know you love it.”

 

A smile means he's said the right thing for once, “Pepper said you were planning on buying the Dodgers.”

 

“I have no recollection of that conversation but should I because I will, seriously.”

 

“No, Tony.”

 

“Yeah, I thought you might say that,” he grins and Steve kisses him which is both unexpected and totally awesome.

 

His hands are in Tony's hair almost immediately after he climbs into his lap, carding through brown locks as he presses their lips together insistently. This is fine, de-Cap'd Steve still kisses like muscley Steve(maybe even better?) except that holy fuck he's tiny(still taller than Tony). It's kind of hot that Steve is taking charge even when he's a tiny paper person. Like really hot. He groans into the kiss and that's when JARVIS informs them that Bruce and Clint are on the way and have expressed to him concern that Tony is 'corrupting' poor, innocent Steve. Like he hadn't done equal amounts of the corrupting. It's the smallness, the entire team has been on his ass about making sure he keeps an eye on Steve just in case he tries to spar or something or breaks his spine in half climbing rope. As if Tony even has one of those rope climbing exercise things in the house-he'd had enough of that crap in school and he's sure Steve had too.

 

“That was weird,” Steve says as he climbs back to his side of the couch.

 

“If by weird you mean incredibly hot then yeah that was really weird.”

 

“You don't think...”

 

“Uh Steve, are we seeing the same thing because you're not making any sense here.”

 

“I just never thought I would be useless again,” he's being sad and honest again. And it's kind of breaking Tony's heart. Figuratively speaking thank god. But he's formulating a plan to fix the sad thing. He's had enough of the sad thing. He wants more making out-maybe more but at the same time he's kind of scared Steve's heart would give out because he just _is_ that good. He's Tony fucking Stark after all.

 

“You're not useless,” it feels strange to say things like that and have someone actually believe it and take it seriously. Not that Pepper didn't but Pepper didn't need his support. Pepper is Pepper is Pepper fucking Potts.

 

Steve is smiling like Tony's just given him a puppy or something which he's tried (unsuccessfully because Steve is a responsible owner and thinks that the superheroing will get in the way of taking care of a puppy). “Thanks Tony but-”

 

“Are you guys making out? Actually forget I asked that, I don't want to know.”

 

“Yeah great to see you too, Clint,” Tony says. _Cockblocker._

 

“Shove over, Banner wants to watch Dora.”

 

“I do not. It's The Hulk.”

 

“Sure amigo, whatever you say.”

 

“This is a really touching scene of camaraderie here but I'm gonna...yeah. Wouldn't want to interrupt your date with The Hulk, Hawkeye,” Tony heads for his workshop just before Bruce hulks out and Steve is following him thank Odin or Thor or Galactus-whomever's district that is. All he needs is to try to convince Hulk to let go of 'strange small man' or something.

 

“Tony about what you said before...” they're halfway down the stairs when Steve finally stops doing his best impression of a brick wall.

 

“...Which thing? Because if you don't know by now that I say a lot of things then Steve I am hurt, I thought we had something.”

 

“About ...” he clears his throat and squares his (oh god) tiny shoulders, “about it not being weird.”

 

“Steve are you propositioning me? Oh my god you are. You're asking me to well the answer is yes first of all and secondly and don't get mad but are you sure because I saw your medical file and I'm-okay maybe afraid isn't the right word more like _worried_ -” 

 

“Tony,” the usual growl comes out not so much growly but more...yeah, adorable. 

 

“That you'll...” he trails off at the look he's getting. 

 

“I'm not an invalid, Tony,” Steve says, waiting for Tony to reach the lab before pushing him(the element of surprise is not one Tony is particularly well versed in but he's starting to see its merits) against a wall. 

 

“So you...” Steve's entire what, 90 pounds, of mass is pressed against him now, “said. I'm just gonna...JARVIS you know what to do.” 

 

“Of course, Sir.”

 

“What were you saying about being worried?” 

 

Tony licks his lips, “um...nothing?” 

 

“Good.”

 

~~**~~

 

The morning sun is shining and he's got a passed out super soldier sleeping with his head dangerously close to his armpit...Wait. He probes at the arm across his torso, feeling muscle rather than just arm. After a couple of minutes he cracks open an eye. 

 

“Steve?” he ventures to call his name as if it could really be anyone else considering how he'd brought him to bed last night for round two(the desk really is too hard for any extra curricular activities unless he's really desperate). Which neglects to mention that Steve is also the only one who makes super stacked super hero look cute-especially while asleep. His hair is all messy and flopping in his face on one side. 

 

“Mm? Tony? What is...” 

“Uh...” It's obvious, he thinks so there's no need for him to go into detailed theories this early in the morning.

 

“I'm back to normal.” 

 

“Yeah, what do you know, the cure for alien rays is gay sex,” Tony murmurs in what he hopes is a very 'let's go back to sleep because I don't feel like going downstairs and inspecting the mess Hulk made' kind of way. He closes his eyes for emphasis.

 

“Tony.” 

 

“Uh huh.” 

 

Steve's hand slides down his chest, “you're so cute.” 

 

“...Yeah, yeah. Point taken.” 

 

“No Tony, you're really adorable I don't think I can handle it oh my god Tony Tony TONY!” 

 

“POINT TAKEN, STEVE.” 

 

“Look at how you get all angry it's so cute awww.” 

 

“Sleeping now.” 

 

“Awwwwwww.”

 

“Not listening. I'm asleep.” 

 

Steve is laughing but he pretends not to hear him. For a second he wonders if the cure for obnoxiously cheerful boyfriends is morning sex then opens his eyes. Is it? Maybe. It's an experiment worth trying. 

 

“So, up for a little bit of congratulations on your new sexy body sex?”

 

“It's not exactly new.”

 

“I'm not arguing semantics with you while I'm trying to give you morning sex.” 

 

“It's the afternoon.” 

 

“...Okay Afternoon Delight then.”

 

Finding his baby and holding him tight aside the day turns out to be a bust. Hank wants to run more tests and Hulk has destroyed the TV and Clint denies all responsibility until Tony threatens to not do a super cool modification to his bow. But really, it could have been worse. Sometimes you have to enjoy the small pleasures of life. Especially if those small pleasures are tiny Steve, he thinks. Yeah, it isn't really that bad. 

 

'Hey Pepper check out these pictures' he texts her once the whole ordeal is semi-forgotten and his acts of indiscretion are mostly forgotten about. 

 

Steve still isn't happy when the framed photos of him turn up in the shop, though. 

 

THE MOTHER FUCKIN END

**Author's Note:**

> My first foray into Avengers fanfiction! Successful or unsuccessful, you be the judge but thanks for reading anyway! And yes, those things you think are references to other fics probably are.


End file.
